Spain forward Álvaro Morata has revealed that he considered quitting the national team after suffering “depression” and “panic attacks” before lifting the European Championship in the summer.
Morata, 31, captained his country to victory in the tournament in Germany, then switched clubs, joining AC Milan from Atlético Madrid.
Morata — who is in the Spain squad for Nations League games against Denmark and Serbia during this international break — has previously spoken about his difficult relationship with fans and how criticism has affected him and his family.
“When you have really tough moments, depression, panic attacks, the job you do doesn’t matter, what job you do, the situation you have in life, doesn’t matter,” Morata told Cope radio on Thursday.
“You have another person inside you, and you have to fight against them every day, every night. For me it was best to leave Spain. The moment came when I couldn’t stand it.
Speaking before the Euros, Morata said he was considering moving abroad, as well as retiring from international football, saying “you have to think if it’s really worth it.”
On Thursday, he added to those comments, saying: “I had a really bad time. The moment came when I thought I wouldn’t be able to put my boots on again. Three months before the Euros, I was thinking whether I’d be able to wear the Spain shirt again, and be captain. I was thinking if I’d be able to play again.
“I don’t know what was happening to me. I felt embarrassed to be with my kids, to go out into the street… Every time I went out with them something would happen, people would ask about football, talk about something that had happened in previous games.
“In the end, [my kids] didn’t want to go to the supermarket either. People said so many things to me that I was embarrassed to be with them.”
During the Euros, Morata suggested on social media that he would be staying at Atlético. He said on social media that he “couldn’t imagine what it’s like to win [a trophy] with this shirt, and I won’t stop until I achieve it,” but he later joined Milan, where he has scored two goals in five Serie A games this season.
“At first I thought I’d stay at Atleti; I really wanted to,” he told Cope. “But I did an interview, where I said I wasn’t sure if I’d stay with the national team or not, and there was a big fuss… There were some news stories that for me were out of proportion.
“I realised that in Italy, that just doesn’t happen. I’ve played for two teams there, but people there respect me. When you get a certain label [here], it’s hard to remove it.”
